I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
