ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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