you guys were way drunker than both of me
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
