i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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