have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
