i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
