He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
