Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
