Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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