she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just found a bag of teeth...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
