i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
