i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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