I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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