You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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