i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
