i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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