When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
