I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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