it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
