I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
