I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
