hell yes lets make some ravioli
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
