How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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