I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
