12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Dick very happy bro
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
