i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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