I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
