I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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