Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
