break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
