why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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