I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
