Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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