Porn is love you can see.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
