You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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