Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
