you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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