Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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