The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
