dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
