I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
