i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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