I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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