Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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