thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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