i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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