I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
