i permit you to call me
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
