paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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