Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
