i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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