i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
